The Fast Train to Uxbridge An observational feature

Raindrops mar the view from the train window, the blurry outlines of molting trees barely visible under a heavy grey sky. The trees rush together as the train gathers speed, rocking its passengers up and down, up and down.

The man in the brown and white checked plimsols picks up his coffee from the red and navy flecked floor of the train. Sporadically stuffing muffin into his mouth from a crumpled paper bag, he loudly sucks the moist crumbs from his podgy white fingers before raking them through his clipped brown hair.

A giggle pierces the controlled rhythm of the train. Two young women sporting an array of colourful woolly garments are gossipping in thick Mancunian accents, their heads close together. Their voices become animated and snatches of their conversation float down the carriage.

'Ooooh, d'yeh remember when...'

'Noooo!'

'...she took it out o't freezer and it were defrostin and the cat took it -'

'- Yeh joh-kin'!'

'Honest teh God, it took the whole tur-keh to't top o't stairs an' sat there chewin on one end o'it!'

The doors of the train whoosh open like a conveyer belt at high speed. An impenetrable gust of wind rushes into the carriage. The train is suddenly silent, its engine still. Only the muffled raggae of a nearby ipod disrupts the quiet. Then the doors quickly groan shut and the engine groans back to life, resuming its monotonous drum beat of motion.

Plimsol Man takes a navy and white handkerchief from his green duffel pocket and vigorously blows his nose. Replacing the now-soiled hanky, he sniffs, his nostrils red and slightly flared.

A lady in a tight beige mac coughs hoarsely from her seat across the aisle. She fiddles with a strand of unruly ginger hair resting just above her barely-there eyebrow as she scans a copy of Bella through small black-rimmed spectacles.

A shrivelled elderly man taps on his coffee cup, in synchrony with the motion of the train. Tap-tap. Tap-tap.

The train doors whoosh to a close once again and it departs from the windy platform, shrouded in a sheet of rain.